Todd Howard Destroys the Multiverse
by Viceakin Archive
Summary: Uh oh, Todd Howard did it again!
1. Todd Fuckery

Todd howard wakes up in his home, and takes a shower. He gets his clothes on, and enters the garage with his keys. He starts up his car and drives to the dungeon. He shows the receptionist his Badge, and he summons the elevator for him.

Todd enters his office, and enters a command into his computer, its time. Todd gets his sunglasses and lab coat on, and he leads a group of scientists to a room with a Interdimentional Portal, and the scientists hand in their Parts of a Badge. Todd places these parts into a slot on the control Panel. The machine turns on and a Purpleish portal Opens up, making Todd Grin.

Cancer Mouse sneaks into the control panel and chews a wire, causing the Portal to go haywire. The Portal Breaks and sucks Todd and the Scientists into the portal. Meanwhile, in dimension E-4827, or known as the SMG4 Dimention, Tari is in her home, petting her cat on the couch.

Suddenly, A portal opens up behind her, and begins to suck her in, and she tries to hang on to the couch. She gets sucked in, after the couch cushion she was hanging onto slipped out. She sees Todd Howard as she gets sucked into a different dimension, and she falls onto the rough sand below.


	2. Tari gets Captured

Tari wakes up in a house, chained up. She notices a jukebox covering the door, and a old man sitting on a couch, cooking meat over a fire. "Where am I, who are you?" asked Tari. "Finally, your awake. Names Bill by the way." Bill takes the food off the fire and begins eating it.

"Why am I chained up, Bill?" asked Tari. "Its because ive been left for dead so many times by that bastard Dwight, I learned not to trust anybody." said bill, still eating his cooked meat. Bill gets up and gets a ziptie out of his pocket. Tari finally notices the body on the chair across the couch. Tari begins to freak out and tries to get out of her chains.

Bill holds her down and slowly gets one of her chains off. Tari punches him when her right arm is free, and tries to free her robotic arm. Bill gets the chain off and flips her over and puts the ziptie on her wrists. He pushes the Jukebox covering the door out of the way and escorts Tari out the door.

They see alien like creatures eating someone, and bill whispers, "That was going to be you before i saved you." Tari is in shocked silence, and the dog like aliens sense something, and turn around to see our duo. One of them growls, alerting most of the alien dogs. One of them charges at Tari, and the rest follow suit.

Bill and Tari run for their lifes, until Bill finds a shotgun. He blows those bastards apart one by one, but one manages to get to Tari, and rip up her arm pretty badly. Bill shoots the alien dog, to get it off. Bill notices a sign saying, "Skags spoted in the area, stay alert!" Bill tends to Tari's wound, and stitches it up, and puts a bandage on it. About an hour later, it starts raining, and they retreat into a building, and set up camp for the night.


	3. The School

Tari looks up through a hole in the roof into the night sky. She sees something unexpected, a battle across the stars. She looks at the battle until she falls asleep. She wakes up to gun fire and panic rolls around the floor. She gets up to see some Skags getting shot.

Bill keeps the Skag horde at bay, Tari tries to run but trips on a corpse. Bill finally kills the last Skag, and notices Tari fall. He just yanks her back up and calmly tells her, "Your acting like Dwight, Tari. Dont be a Dwight, Tari. Ill fucking blow your head off those shoulders if you act like Dwight one more time." Tari is shook to the core, and quickly shakes her head Yes.

They walk down the hallway to see Piles of Bodies, stacked ontop of each other, burning. Bill pulls out his shotgun and aims it down the hall, looking for targets. "That fire was lit recently, did you smell rotting flesh when we first entered?" Bill says, clearly concerned. "No, I didn't, Bill." Tari says, voice trembling in fear.

They see a man walking to the stairs, and Bill chases him, with Tari following suit. The man stops, and turns around to greet them, "Hello Chaps, do you want some LEAD!?" He pulls out a desert eagle and begins to fire on them.

Tari gets into cover and bill begins to fire back with his shotgun. The man slowly charges forward, fully intent on killing them where they stand. Bill gets a shot gun blast in, and the guy falls down, bleeding to death. "Better not waste a shell on your sorry ass." says Bill, and they walk away.

Bill and Tari go to the stairs and begin to go up them. They notice that there are no railings and its above a void. Suddenly, a portal opens up, consuming the void. It also begins sucking up the stairs. The stairs give way, and both Bill and Tari are sucked into the portal.


	4. Outta the frying pan, and into the fire

A few hours later and they are still in the portal, playing cards. After Bill wins the hand with a full house, the portal spits them out into a tree. Both of them spit out a tooth and Bill has a broken nose, which he corrects.

They look around to quickly establish that they are in the mountains, and that theres snow everywhere. They begin walking down the road to see a checkpoint on the bridge. They hear growls behind them, and they turn around to see a hoard, charging at them.

They quickly begin to run to the checkpoint, scared for their lives. The guys at the checkpoint set up a chainlink fence, so they have to open it for them. They get it open, and the duo get through the door, but one of the zombies grab Tari's robo arm, and try to pull her in with it, they are also chomping on it.

Bill does the only thing he's thinking right now, and pulls out a knife from hit pocket. Tari was clearly in pain, you could tell from the screaming. Bill takes the knife to Taris robo arm and begins to cut it off. Tari doesn't struggle, since it was the only way to live because they didnt notice that horde in time.

They get her robo arm off and they rush to the bus, jumping in. The guard there also got in the bus, and they sped off. Day turns to night as the bus stops for gas, and Tari, with the stub bandaged up, looked up at the night sky and saw the great star battle of the night.

Tari sees a ship go down, heading straight for them. "Um... Theres a starship thats gonna crash straight into us. Said Tari in a concerned tone. They look up to see said ship and they bolt into the bus and just drive on outta there.

They see the explosion from it crashing and try not to think about all those people that were most likely on that ship. They see a shadow of something huge in the distance, and the driver has a death wish so he goes to the shadow to see what its about. Night turns to day as they see the skeleton of a giant metal sphere, with holes all around but they see a giant hole on the left.

Bill notices a command console and walks towards it. He activates it and the machine blinkers a message, "MONSTER CONTAINMENT UNIT STATUS: ESCAPED, ACTIVATING GPS TRACKER..." The machine then displayed cords to a unknown area north of them, Bill yells the cord to the driver, and he enters it in to the GPS. They drive and drive until they reach their destination.

It was a forgotten town with a damn that can burst any moment, the bus stops and they exit the bus to see the monster. It was like a dog from hell, except giant. The skin looked like blood red stone, and they could see it chewing on a wind turbine.

The monster notices them, and throws the wind turbine at them, and walks away, thinking it killed them. The turbine hits the Dam, and causes it to slowly burst. The gang gets in the bus, and gets off the dam, and into the next town.


	5. Nuclear Goner

They parked the bus and saw the great beast, destroying buildings as it roared a mighty roar. They see the space station, or as the locals call it, Helios, firing moonshots at it, doing nothing. Tari see a moonshot miss, and crash into a burning building, and informs bill about it.

They go back into the bus to get guns, lots of guns. Bill grabbed a sub-auto machine gun, while Tari got a sawed off shotgun. They walk into the town, and began to shoot up the hatchlings, that were hatching off the great beast.

While bill covered her, Tari manages to open the missed moonshot by finding a override switch. What they find is a Tsar Bomb inside, and Bill says, "One of us has to activate it manually, you know. Since the remote detonator is up there in that space station." Bill helps Tari pull it out of the moonshot.

"I can handle myself, you go on and get!" Says Bill, who has sacrificed himself before. Tari does what she is told, and retreats back to the bus, and tells the driver to move it! They will in the tunnel when the nuke went off, the shockwave pushed the bus on its side, and they had to move on foot. Tari salutes the sacrifice of bill, and walks off, into the pandora wastelands.


	6. Enter Stage Left, Hyperion

Jack gets called over by one of his employees. "Sir, you might want to see this." He opens the window to show enemy ships, coming to Helios. "Open fire, we dont want another Lost Legion incident, now do we?" Said Jack, remembering that shit show.

The man ran down to weapons control and said, "OPEN FIRE, DAMNIT!" They quickly began firing on the ships, doing some damage. The ships being fired apon launch a canister into the Hall of Heroism. It makes a breach, but is quickly sealed off by several loader bots.

The canister hatches and out comes headcrabs. Some headcrabs latch onto employees early, making some zombies, causing more chaos. GUN loaders get dispatched onto the scene, taking out some of the zombies and head crabs.

The weapons department pull out some E-Tech weapons, and begin firing on the zombies. The Moon shot department is firing moonshots filled with explosives at the ships, making some crash into Pandora. The ships open fire with more canisters, but some of them are shot down. Eventually, all of the ships are taken care of and Jack can rest easy.

Dahl ships begin coming to Helios, and the Dahl Commander has this to say, "I know we had our differences, and our rouge lost legion, but this new threat... It will enslave us. So we need to band together to take this threat down. You with me?" Jack agrees, and the Dahl-perion collective begins.


	7. Wait, wheres Todd?

Todd, being in the portal for 2 days wonders if he will ever escape the portal, the portal spits him out into Helios. He looks up to see many Hyperion employees just looking at him. He gets up and goes to the nearest bathroom to piss. He gets out of the bathroom, refreshed and lucky he didnt piss himself in the portal.

He gets grabbed by some loader bots, and brought to Jack's office. "So... who the hell are you?" Says Jack, wanting to know his name before he gets thrown into the airlock. "Todd Howard, I torture people with CBT." Says Todd.

Jack knowing what CBT stands for, smirks and offers Todd his hand. Todd grabs Jacks hand, and he pulls himself up. Jack says, "How would you like to torture some bandit scum?" Todd shakes his head in agreement, and a Loader Bot brings him to the cells, to see some crimson raiders.

Todd didnt like his job since he did it so othen when a employee looked at a loader bot funny, but it had to be done, since all the other torturers went out the airlock. Todd knew the consequenses if he defyed Jacks orders. He later died on the third battle against the combine.


	8. The Second Encounter

The day starts out with Dahl training the employees how to aim like a god. Jack is cooking microwave popcorn to eat while laughing at his employees failing the boot camp. Some of the employees manage to beat the boot camp, and the rest will train more tomorrow.

One of the employees who beat the test was Todd Howard, who excelled at aiming, with a blindfold. Todd gets called into the commanders office. "Son, I am Commander James Marcus, and I am proud to call you a soldier of Dahl, son." Says the Captain. Todd Salutes him, as he gives Todd his Private Badge.

Todd walks out of his office, now feeling like a new man. He goes to his bunk to sleep. He is woken up by the Captain, "WE GOT HOSTLES, GET YOUR GUN!" Todd falls out the bed, and gets his gun under the bed. Todd gets up, goes to his closet and gets his army clothes.

Todd and the Captain run out to see Combine forces advancing on the employees. They quickly find cover to ambush them. They open fire on the combine, and the employees fire too, quickly taking out the soldiers. They meet up with the Sargent who was commanding the employees.

The Sargent salutes the Captain and they agree to team up, to make a advance on the enemy. They see the Combine trying to set up a Barrecks. Todd pulls out his emergency dynamite and says, "I knew i was going to use this someday." Todd lights the dynamite and throws it at the unsuspecting Combine.

They light up like a bloody christmas tree. The Captain nods at Todd, signaling a job well done. They advance on the enemy, to see a pod that crashed through, with holes fiting the Combine soldiers.

The announcer says, "Combine forces retreating, good work guys! You get a coupon to Pizza Joes." They go to Pizza Joes, and celebreate a job well done.


	9. Todd gets rewarded

Jack, calming down in his executive break room gets a glass of ice cold water. He also finds a bag of Hyperion brand chips, and grabs that to. He gets back to his desk and calls up Todd, to congratulate him for his quick thinking.

Todd comes up, tired from the fighting. "Take a seat, kiddo." Says Jack, wanting to give him something. Todd takes a seat and streches. Jack opens a drawer to give him a box. "Go back to your room, Private Howard." Says Jack. Todd grabs the box, and goes down the elevator.

He walks to his room, and slowly opens the box to find a PET loader. He activates it, and the machine speaks, "Hello, please give me a name." Todd decides on the name, Lone , goes to bed, and drifts away into a slumber.


	10. The Beginning of The End

Todd has a dream where he wakes up in the desert, with dead skags around him. After looking around for a while until he looks up. He sees Helios falling from the sky after a nuclear bomb was detonated in the bottom left corner. The dream ends when Helios crashes next to him, killing him.

Todd wakes up in a cold sweat, freaking out. He gets out of his bed, and picks up PET loader. He walks out of his room with PET loader, and notices the employees celebrating. "Whats going on?" Says Todd. "A portal to the Combine Homeworld just opened up, we can win this war." Said James.

"So, when are we striking?" Asked Todd. "We just sent in 5 Titan Class ships. We'll be fine." Said James. Todd puts down PET loader, and joins the party. Todd breaks down some sweet moves, and then showers everyone with copies of Skyrim.

James gets a calls that the Titan ships are returning, but one of them went down, leaving 200 dead. James silences the party and tells them to have a moment of silence for the fallen. After they have their moment of silence, they hear a explosion and the power cuts.

The emergency power kicks in, and the annoncer tells them to run to the escape pods or they will die. Everybody panics, and they run for the pods. Todd grabs his PET loader, and they get outta there.

Todd enters a escape pod, and watches as the Titan Class ships kamakaze themselfs into Helios. Todd cuddles with his PET loader as they land onto Pandora. He crash lands on a hill, and he is knocked out.

A person with a hood notices the crashed shuttle, and breaks open the window to free him. She drags Todds unconscious body to a campfire near by, and lays him down. The PET loader follows them.


	11. Endgame: Part I

Todd slowly wakes up, making the hooded figure look at him. "I was wondering if you would even wake up, you know." Said the hooded figure, smoking a cigarette. Todd realizes he's bound to a log, and his PET loader is next to him. "You better uncuff me or i swear to god ill blow that head off." Said Todd.

"No need to get violent." The hooded figure grabs a knife and cuts the rope bounding Todd. Todd stands up, swiping the dust off him. "So... who the hell are you?" Said Todd, clearly confused. The hooded figure takes off her hoodie to show that it is Tari with a new arm and Echo Eye implant.

"Name's Tari, nice to meet you." Said Tari, being friendly. Todd asks a weird question. "Did you see a Giant Hell hound looking thing by any chance?" Tari nods and tells Todd, "Why bring this up now?" "That was my pet project who got nuked. Were you involved in that by any chance?" Tari slowly nods yes and Todd says, "Thank god, that would have torn up Pandora if it wasn't stopped. We tried firing a Tsar Bomb at it, but some dumbass forgot to arm it."

Tari tells Todd to "Get every gun you can find." Todd does so, and they hit the road to a nuclear launch facility.


	12. Endgame: Part II

Todd smokes a cigar as they wander their way down the rickity roads. Bandits come up behind them and start shooting at them. The duo quickly find cover and begin firing at the bandits. Tari gets hit in the arm, but is okay after a emergency stim-pac Todd had. The bandits are dead, and they notice the vehicle they were driving, and they take it.

They drive to the Launch Facility in a hour no problem. They park in the parking lot, and notice a Combine war ship coming through the portal, so they better hurry. They burst through the doors of the facility to see dead bandits, around a giant skag, which is eating the corpse of a bandit.

The skag notices them, and growls at them. Todd grabs his laser rifle, and aims it at the dog. Tari takes her M-16, and switches it to grenade mode. The skag charges at Todd, and Todd fires at the beasts open mouth. Tari fires the grenade into the Skags mouth, and the skag chokes on it abit, before it blows up.

They enter the building and find the button for lighting. The lights reveal a NASA spaceship, with a nuke that is inside the cargo. They find the desroyed autopilot controls with several piss stains on it. "Someone's gonna need to fly that thing, Todd." Said Tari. "I found Oz kit in the closet. Im going to fly the shuttle." Said Tari, knowing what needs to be done.

Todd stays silent, knowing that this means life or death for everything. Tari attaches the Oz kit, and enters the space shuttle. Todd tells Tari, "Good luck, space cowboy." as Tari launches the spaceship. Tari carfully navigates the asteroids as she flys up to the ship. She sets the ship on auto pilot, as she arms the nuke to detonate when she activates a comand on her Echo Eye.

Todd walks outside to see a nuclear blast, taking down the Combine war ship. Todd salutes Tari, as he sits down. He looks at a photo from him coding Skyrim, and he throws it away to the wind.


End file.
